prettyarbitrary: (Fuzzy Cthulhu)
Mild NSFW for bare butts )

For some reason, I cleverly decided that I would include the shading. Because I’m a genius. XD If you look closely, you can see the point where I stopped giving a damn.

Reference photo here.
prettyarbitrary: (Fuzzy Cthulhu)
Bat!John

There is a stupid meme going around Tumblr in which John is an adorable little bat. The purpose of this is basically to have an excuse to draw John as an adorable little bat. Anyway, he's really damn adorable and I wanted an excuse to put in some practice on Sherlock's face, so here you go. Based on that old myth about how a bat will get stuck in your hair and then you'll have to shave your head bald to get him out.
prettyarbitrary: (Default)
This is a bit of ridiculousness I wrote for somebody, somewhere. It's not even a real fic, but I want you to have it, Internet. It seems like your kind of thing. <3

***

"John, hey!" Rory said when they crossed paths by the coffee machine. "Haven't seen you lately. How's the love life?"

The way John snorted might've been more appropriate if someone had asked him how his latest traffic accident had turned out. "I'm dating a beautiful redhead and running after an offensively tall madman with insane hair and a brain that sometimes makes me want to hit it with a cricket bat in hopes it'll teach him how to talk like a human."

Rory froze. "Oh god. Are you...me from the future? Did I shrink? Our hair is the same color. Oh my god, we have the same nose!" He looked around to see if he could spot the places where the universe was probably crumbling.

From behind him, John snapped, "Oi! Did you just call me short?!"
prettyarbitrary: (Fuzzy Cthulhu)
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson
Rating: NC-17 (explicit m/m sex)
Tags and Warnings: Omegaverse, explicit m/m sex, fluff, mild relationship angst, 100% consensual!, there's even explicit sex/relationship negotiation!
Notes: Sequel to Serviceman
Next in the series: Line of Duty
You can find the originating prompt here.

Sherlock's a bit of a dick about the omega thing, but then he's a bit of a dick about everything. Even so, John doesn't venture where he knows he's not wanted.




“Army omega,” Sherlock sneers, tone conveying his real meaning of ‘slut.’

John grins into it, all teeth and challenge. “My parents always told me to hold out for a job I loved.” As though he hasn’t heard everything people have to say about army omegas. They can go fuck themselves. He’s proud of his service.

Not that Sherlock actually buys into any of that rubbish. )
prettyarbitrary: (Default)
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson
Rating: PG-13
Tags and Warnings: D/S themes but nothing actually happens. D/S themes with humor? Is that a thing to warn for? Military sexiness. BAMF John. Half-naked wet John.
Notes: The prompt.

Sherlock thinks he deserves a moment watching a sopping wet John stride off with an unconscious murderer’s head lolling against his bare spine.




The bouncers insist on some rubbish ‘proper procedure’ that appears to mainly entail getting in Sherlock’s way. In the meantime, John takes off like a wolf for the back door, unwilling to let their quarry escape.

Sherlock shakes loose of his annoyers and hits the crash bar a few seconds behind him. )

The Accidental Sex Series: No One's Bitch | Dim Sum Dom/Sub | This is why God gave us Safewords | In Which Somebody Gets Collared
prettyarbitrary: (Default)
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, Jim Moriarty
Rating: G
Tags and Warnings: Humor, Crack, Defacement of literary works. Reichenbach the ACD way, Only with crack did I mention? And also coffee.
Notes: Here's the prompt.




They stood on the brink of Nature's open maw, two shadows in the eternal whose terrible rivalry could end in only one way.

Moriarty took a step closer, and another. Sherlock watched him stonily, ready to see this to the end.

A little out of arm's reach, Moriarty stopped, then leaned sideways, craning to look down the chasm at his enemy's back. He grimaced. "That's a very long drop."

Yes. )
prettyarbitrary: (Default)
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson
Rating: PG-13
Tags and Warnings: D/S themes but nothing actually happens. D/S themes with humor? Is that a thing to warn for? John fails at safewords. Nobody actually gets hurt (well, maybe slightly concussed.)
Notes: The prompt.

I feel a little bad about this on behalf of the BDSM community because John did screw up the safeword thing. But I'm assured that if a sub is threatening to punch you, then you should probably at least check to see if ur doin it wrong, even if he is dressed like a soldier pin-up.




Sherlock finally identified their quarry at the exact same moment that, across the dining room, a man in a double-breasted suit tangled his hand into the chain of John’s dog tags and yanked him into his broad chest.

Bloody hell. )

The Accidental Sex Series: No One's Bitch | Dim Sum Dom/Sub | This is why God gave us Safewords | In Which Somebody Gets Collared
prettyarbitrary: (Default)
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Dupin the Parrot. Guest-starring Lestrade
Rating: G
Tags and Warnings: gen, humor, fluff, parrot!
Notes: Written for a prompt. Fact-checking services provided by Lucky the Quaker Parrot.

Sherlock acquires a pet that's the Sherlock of the animal kingdom, and John finds himself at war.




Dupin had found John’s shoes.

John had been so careful to keep them out of the bird’s line of sight. He didn’t know what had clued the little feather duster in. That bird was almost as observant as its owner. And now John’s best Oxfords were…well, he sure as hell wasn’t going to be wearing these on any more dates.

Maybe the leather finish was toxic to birds. Could he be that lucky? )
prettyarbitrary: (Default)
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Dog Tags, D/S Fail, Humor, Going commando means so many things. D/S themes but nothing actually happens. D/S themes with humor? Is that a thing to warn for?
Notes: The prompt.




Maybe this hadn’t been such a great idea after all.

John did blend in. A little too well. They had split up in order to canvas more of the club, but he kept attracting inconvenient attention from predatory nitwits who thought he was up for some ‘military discipline.’ Every time their paths crossed, Sherlock found himself forced to make a point of John’s ‘taken’ status, looming possessively over him or pointedly toying with the chain around his neck, which John tolerated with the same resigned grace as when Sherlock loomed over him at crime scenes or pointedly lifted his cell phone.

The idiots had no idea they owed Sherlock their lives. )

The Accidental Sex Series: No One's Bitch | Dim Sum Dom/Sub | This is why God gave us Safewords | In Which Somebody Gets Collared
prettyarbitrary: (Default)
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson
Rating: PG-13
Tags and Warnings: Dog Tags, Uniforms, The title is ironic, John does not do collars. D/S themes but nothing actually happens. D/S themes with humor? Is that a thing to warn for?
Notes: The prompt.




"Come on, John, stop complaining and just put it on."

John backed away, twisting to avoid him. "You put it on. Sherlock, I'll do a lot for you, but I am not wearing a dog collar."

"It's only for the case!" Sherlock stepped forward again, trying to get to John's neck with the collar while John kept batting his hands away. "Look, it doesn't mean anything! It's just a disguise. We're going to have to spend hours in that sex club and we need to blend in."

"Stop it! I've had too many people call me your dog to think it's funny, Sherlock." Exasperated, he straight-armed Sherlock backwards into the wall. "Can't I just wear leather trousers or something? No, wait." His eyes lit up. "I've got an idea. Be back in a tick."

He spun away and ran up to his room. Sherlock frowned after him.

Five minutes later John was coming back down, feet surprisingly heavy on the stairs. "All right, will this work?"

He stepped through the living room door wearing his fatigues trousers, army boots, and dogtags--and nothing else. Sherlock surveyed him in a certain amount of shock. The effect was...surprisingly explicit.

He reached out and gripped the dog tag chain tight, yanking John close. John let himself be pulled in without complaint. Sherlock grinned. "Yes. Yes, I think this'll do nicely."


The Accidental Sex Series: No One's Bitch | Dim Sum Dom/Sub | This is why God gave us Safewords | In Which Somebody Gets Collared
prettyarbitrary: (Default)
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson
Rating: G
Tags and Warnings: Gen, humor, the establishment of weird Christmas traditions, Uh...spoilers for the status of Santa Claus's existence?
Notes: Naturally, a prompt.

In which Sherlock and Santa have an adversarial relationship, and John invents a new holiday tradition.




John liked Lestrade’s crew. He was comfortable around them, for one thing; police and soldiers lived in similar worlds in some respects. For another, they really knew how to throw a holiday party. The eggnog was homemade, the music was live, courtesy of the CID’s very own barbershop quartet, he didn’t think it was his imagination that the girls from Intake were plotting to catch him under the mistletoe, and this was the first chance he’d had to dance since the case of the disappearing night club logos.

After a couple of turns about the floor with Sally, who turned out to be an excellent dancer, he headed back to Sherlock, whom he’d caught spectating with a wide, amused grin. “She had better not become the next Future Ex-Mrs. Watson, John, or you and I are going to have to revisit the terms of our arrangement.”

John sneered companionably at him. )
prettyarbitrary: (Default)
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Mycroft Holmes
Rating: PG-13 (references to sex, racy PDA)
Tags and Warnings: slash, sexual references, humor, Sherlock wields PDA as a weapon
Notes: The kink meme prompt that prompted this. Figured I should post some humor after the angst.

There are some things a man doesn't want to know about his brother, no matter how fond he is of spy cameras.




John wasn’t thinking about the previous night when Mycroft knocked on the door.

Well. To be fair, he’d been thinking about it less than a minute earlier, and most likely would again within the next two minutes, with the way he and Sherlock were pressed together from shoulder to elbow and hip to calf. But they were sitting together on the sofa, sharing a medical article on a study about residual toxins in a new line of lipid-reduction drugs. It was all perfectly innocuous. The sitting room door was even open.

So when Mycroft didn’t actually enter upon John’s welcoming gesture, it took him a moment to realize why the elder Holmes had frozen at the threshold. The suspiciously blank look on his face helped, as did the way his eyes kept flicking between the flat’s two occupants.

Heat rose in John’s cheeks. Trust a Holmes to spot all the embarrassing details. )

Get a Room tag--because my brain is never content to leave well enough alone. )
prettyarbitrary: (Default)
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, ensemble
Rating: PG (a bit of language)
Tags and Warnings: gen, crack, internet humor, Moriarty is a troll, Sherlock discovers fanfiction, general ridiculousness Notes:   Written for a prompt for the Sherlock kink meme.
Sherlock and John discover that the internet is full of disturbing things.
John clicked the 'post' button and watched the 503 error pop up for a fourth time. "Bloody internet."
 
Sherlock flicked a glance at him over his newspaper. "Problems with your blog?"
 
"Yes." With some effort, John restrained himself from hitting his keyboard. Read more... )
prettyarbitrary: (Default)
Another one from the crimes prompts. Amy's in it, but if you allow for the assumption that they met up with her later on in movie-verse, this actually works pretty well for either version of the team. This one's finished at 380-some words, but feedback is still desirable!

12: Fraud

“My favorite game,” Face reminisced, refilling his glass, “was the one where the drunkest guy at the table bought the next round.”

“’Course it was, sucker,” BA rumbled, taking the bottle from him. “All about connin’ fools.”

“Yeah, but we don’t play it anymore,” Face said wistfully.

Across the table, Amy waved for the bottle. “Why’s that?”

“The odds these days are terrible.” Face wrinkled his nose. ”Just the four of us, and Murdock’s automatically disqualified. We can never tell whether he’s drunk or medicated.”

Her bottom lip twitched down. “Should he even be drinking?!”

“Depends whether he’s been takin’ it,” Murdock slurred, though he’d only had two shots, then snapped back to his default diction. “I don’t think it’s fair, Facey. Hannibal’s just as bad.”

Face laughed and leaned in toward Amy confidentially. “They say no one’s ever seen him drunk.”

She glanced at Hannibal, who was sitting right there, perfectly capable of overhearing. “Who’s ‘they?’” It did seem odd for a soldier in a warzone, but admittedly Hannibal was a strange bird. She narrowed her eyes. “Is it true?” The team would know better than anybody, but sometimes when they opened their mouths, BS poured out.

BA rolled his eyes. “Nah. He just cheats.”

She turned to the big man, noticing in passing that Hannibal was now smiling. “Cheats? How?”

“Dunno.” Face shrugged, falling back into his chair. “We’ve never caught him at it.”

“We can just tell when he’s up to something,” Murdock clarified, eying his colonel.

Amy turned to Hannibal, who turned that grin on her, looking as clear-eyed and sober as he could ever claim to be. “Hannibal…are they screwing with me?”

The innocence of his expression was marred by the chin-tilt that meant he was deliberately being a bastard. “Can’t you tell?”

“Ngh!” She threw a cushion at Face because you didn’t throw things at Hannibal. “You’re all jerks!”

Hannibal laughed. Maybe she’d amused him sufficiently, because he pulled the cigar out of his mouth to confide, “There’s a very simple trick to it, kid.”

The gleam in his eyes signaled nothing but trouble, but she couldn’t resist. “What?”

A few more teeth crept into his grin. “Never do anything sober that you wouldn’t do while drunk.”

The horrible thing, Amy reflected, was that it explained so much.

Profile

prettyarbitrary: (Default)
prettyarbitrary

October 2015

S M T W T F S
    1 23
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 26th, 2017 12:05 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios