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I've taken up a new kind of exercise. We have hiking trails leading off from the park a few blocks from our house, and I go up there to walk through the woods and feel something other than pavement under my feet.

Once I learned my way around, I started running the trails as well as walking them. And I've discovered some things about this.

First, I've got soft arches and tendonitis in my right knee. When I run on pavement, my muscles end up sore and I wind up limping for the next two days because my knee is angry with me. But running on soft earth actually improves it. I wouldn't recommend this if you have weak ankles--there's a lot more stuff in the woods to turn an ankle on--but if you've got flat feet, bad knees or hips, I recommend giving it a try. I use very light, supple tennis shoes when I walk and run in the woods, and it seems to help since softer shoes give my feet more of a chance to flex naturally.

Second, I don't get bored. I like exercise, but I can only do about ten minutes of it before I start getting distracted. In the woods, I've got plenty of things to pay attention to, and I can easily keep going for an hour or more because I enjoy it out there. When I get too tired to run, I just walk, which is also good, and sometimes I'll just sit down for a little bit and take pleasure in my surroundings, watching butterflies fight and birds sing to each other.
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Dad's got a new difibrillator implant and he's on track to be released next week. Woohoo!

Now will begin the Herculean task of getting him through cardiac rehab. >.> This is going to be interesting...

Oh. Oh ho ho. And cleaning his house. >.< Wow. Well, part of me looks forward to the challenge of organizing the place. I've kind of been itching to scrub down his kitchen for years.

Dad's turn

May. 9th, 2010 10:10 pm
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And now my father has had a heart attack. I was visiting my mom on Saturday when he called and asked for a ride to the hospital. He's doing well; says he feels better than he did before the event, in fact. Recently his appetite had been poor and he'd been sleeping badly, and now he seems to be more perky than he's been in a while. Which really makes me *facepalm.*

The attack seems to have been caused by his cardiac arrhythmia. When it started acting up, he dismissed it as the usual symptoms until he suddenly realized he needed an ambulance. He got treatment before any lasting damage was done, so hopefully they'll be able to get this under control.

In the meantime, despite his protests that he's "fine," I'm going to sic all our relatives on him. He's the kind of guy who toughs things out all by his lonesome because he's convinced that asking for help is "being a burden."

I'm beginning to feel like the only way I get to see my family is in a cardiac ICU. :P
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Back to work today. I feel sort of like I stepped off to a different world for a while, and I sort of keep expecting everything to have changed while I was gone.

Mental weirdness aside, everything is going extremely well! Sis finally got a decent night's sleep last night, which did wonders for her. Her appetite is strong, her incision is healing, soreness is fading, and she's got iron supplements to start replacing all the blood they drew for tests. Her next couple of weeks is laced with doctor's appointments and labs, of course, but I expect her to be rejoining the human race sometime this weekend.

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Next day, and all is going well. She's up and around. They've gotten her disconnected from most of the tubes and wires, and today she sat up in a chair next to the bed for much of the day. Her back and chest hurt from the surgery, and since she's resistant to pain killers, she'll generally have to put up with it, but she says it's feeling a little better than yesterday. Sitting up helped, stretching muscles abused from the operation and shifting points of pressure around.

She ate a bit, but her stomach is queasy from anesthesia, lack of sleep, and a day of taking medicine on an empty tummy. Hopefully she'll feel better tomorrow. Also hopefully she'll get a good night's sleep. Hospitals aren't always the most restful places. But her energy is good for what she's been through, and her vitals are excellent. Tomorrow they think they'll move her to a regular room out of the ICU, and she'll get a visit from the physical therapist, who will show her how to put pants on when you're not allowed to bend over.

Most remarkable, for me, is how she looks. Always before, when she's been in hospital she has been completely wiped out, exhausted to the point of apathy, and her complexion has tended toward an unsettling almost corpse-grey. So when they let us see her after the surgery, the first thing I noticed was that her complexion is a healthy, rosy color and for the first time ever her hands and feet feel warm! She always had very poor circulation. Also, despite how understandably lousy she feels, she really is quite perky. Comparatively speaking, at least. But her eyes are bright and she's got the energy for irritation and humor, which if you've ever been in hospital for something serious enough to get you near the OR, you know is not a small thing.

I am also doing well. I'm not getting all freaked out, I'm remembering to take care of myself, and this hotel really is quite nice (and inexpensive!). I wish I'd remembered to bring my swimsuit; they have an indoor pool, and it'd be a nice way to relax in the evening before I go to bed. The hospital is astonishingly nice as well. It almost spooks me how it has an almost resort-like feel to it. It's very strange. Hospitals have always weirded me out this way. It's like they have two faces: there's the public face, with all the well-appointed visitors lounges and cafes and lobbies and what have you, and then behind the scenes there are the operating rooms and patients' beds and nurses' stations. I know they're trying to dilute the coldness and sterility, but it feels like human suffering being hidden behind an attractive facade, and the effect is more pronounced the nicer the public areas of the hospital are. At least at this particular one it's minimized. It helps that the staff really do go out of their way to make patients feel welcome and as cozy as they can. It feels less like they're just hiding the ugly side and more like they're honestly trying to improve it.

I bought and already finished Rob Thurman's new book, Roadkill. I enjoyed it very much, though the pacing was a bit odd and I can't claim much in the way of twists. It rather read like a character piece wrapped in an external plot, but given the characters I can deal with that. :)

When Sis is feeling better, she's next in line to read it.

Night, all!
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As of 7:30 am, Sis is in for surgery. I'm told it'll probably run somewhere around five hours, so we ought to hear something sometime around noon.

In the meantime, I've found unexpected distraction in the hotel landscaping. It has a pond. With ducks. They are technically wild mallards, but spoiled rotten. They seem to have caught on that if they follow humans around the parking lot for a while, the silly primates will eventually catch on and pop a quarter into the birdfeed machine for them. I suspect most people would be slightly unsettled by a flock of about 20 ducks following them around, but I find them cute, and also thoroughly unintimidating. When you're used to being bitten by irritable parrots who can generate enough force to crack nuts open with their beaks, being pinch-pecked by a duck loses its terror.

More this afternoon, most likely. In the meantime, I have acquired the new Rob Thurman novel (after a thorough hunt through the Harrisburg Barnes & Noble, which had apparently sold out of all but four copies of her book by the afternoon of the first day), and plan to Not Think for a while with its help.
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Starting tonight, I'm going to be largely out of touch, or more accurately not reliably online, for the next week. My sister is having her heart surgery so I'm going to be at the Hershey Medical Center, playing medical proxy. My laptop will be coming with, and there's wireless both at the medical center and at the hotel, so I will be checking my messages at least once a day. But if you want to reach me, you will be best served to drop me an email or LJ message or something rather than trying to catch me on chat.

No, you won't be disturbing me. In fact, I will welcome distractions. I just can't schedule them.

For those of you who are o.O or "WTF?!": this is A Good Thing. Sis had this aortic deformity diagnosed when she was six. It has affected her health and energy her whole life, we've always known she would need this surgery, and she's having it done when she's still in young and in good health, before complications have begun to develop. Her surgeon is one of the best out there (literally, one of the best in the world--her cardiologist has connections!), who has done this surgery so many times he has used the word 'routine,' and she's still young enough to take full advantage of the benefits that will accrue from a fully functional heart. Still. Heart surgery. You know. One gets nervous about these things.

The surgery itself is on Wednesday. I will post an update afterward for those of you who want to know the outcome.

Me :)
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In memory of family and friends who have lost the battle with cancer; and in support of the ones who continue to conquer it! Post this on your LJ if you know someone who has or had cancer.
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Snagged from [ profile] coyotegoth. Beware, it's a little NSFW, in that artistic nudity-but-nothing's-really-showing way.

V Gives The World A Plus-Size Shoot Not Afraid To Flaunt Its Curves

Hahahahahahahahaha, so this is what passes for "plus size" these days? Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh, I wish I could beam the level of my contempt for the fashion industry into their heads. Have a nice life on Jupiter, guys, because you're sure as hell not living on Earth!

New Shoes

Nov. 2nd, 2009 11:22 am
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Right. After two years of searching for a pair of sneakers that:

  • was comfortable
  • was water-resistent
  • was sturdy
  • had good treads
  • was affordable
  • FIT ME

I finally gave up and went looking in the Boys section. Where I immediately found a pair of shoes that fit all my criteria, for $25. And they look snazzy too. They're also wide across the ball of my foot, meaning my toes don't get pinched...and I had never realized what luxury men live in when it comes to shoes with enough room in them. Is there any percentage in putting womens' feet in a vise? Does anybody actually make money off that?

Anyway. Roughly speaking, and in American sizes: boys size 3 = womens size 6 (= European size 36). This additionally means that if you're a woman who wears smaller than a size 6--sizes that can be difficult to find because obviously no one has ever been born with feet that small and it'd just be impossible to sell the same shoes here as in, say, Korea--you can find shoes in boys' sizes that will fit you. If you want heels or dress shoes...well, I'm not sure what to do there, but at least it'll keep you in sneakers and hikers and other active shoes.

Also, why are there so many different shoe size measurements? Is it so difficult to simply measure the damn things and say, "This shoe fits a foot that is 23 centimeters/9 inches long?"

ETA: Oh, that reminds me. If you ever need to be able to convert shoe sizes, here's a handy chart. I note that Korea is the only nation that uses a sizing standard that makes sense. The rest of us all apparently just make crap up.
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I baked some pretty awesome blackberry muffins last week, except I forgot to put in baking powder. Pretty tasty, anyway, and as experimental textures go...well, it was experimental. In the sense of, um, oops.

We took Mom back to her place this weekend. She's doing well enough to take care of herself. Huge relief! And a bonus weekend with the family. After that grueling slog through medical emergency, everybody was kinda down for the count, and I wanted out anyway, so I volunteered to walk the dog all over town (got to revisit some old haunts I don't usually get out to) and then spent a day puttering around in my uncle's garden. Came home with a whole produce aisle's worth of harvest, along with two venison steaks (score!). I made amends to the parrots, who were cranky about having had no one to play with for three weeks (my aunt feeds them, but let's just say they don't see eye-to-eye on the definition of "quality time").

In possibly related news, I've developed a weird sensation in my throat since my visit. It feels like I'm trying not to cry, only all the time. Now, I'm aware that this could be a harbinger of some serious medical conditions, but betting it was instead a harbinger of autumn allergies, I gave it a week of benadryl. No dice so far, so I'll get it checked by a doctor next week. Next suspect on my list is mild asthma. I wouldn't be the first person in my family to develop it.

Then again, now that the emergency is all over, I suppose it's possible that I just want to pitch a good fit. I prefer to put off the histrionics in the midst of crisis because you never know when you'll need a clear head, but...well, I've never been in the position of approving medical procedures on other people before. Hearing the doctor rattle off a list of long-shot but potentially devastating consequences of inserting a chest tube and then being asked for permission was a bucket of not-fun. Maybe I should rent the most depressing movie I can get my hands on and have an embarrassing crying jag some night this weekend.

But I'll visit the doc anyway; no sense taking stupid chances. And hey, while I'm there, maybe I can see about getting that EKG pushed forward. I don't really feel like waiting till November.

Finally (I know I'm repeating myself) OMG SUPERNATURAL TONIGHT! Last year I had three shows I took the trouble of catching when they first aired on TV. Now I'm down to one, because Fox moved Fringe to share Supernatural's slot like a bunch of jerks and Siffy-Yiffy bailed out on all that is good and moved Eureka to Fridays. Those're two separate things, by the way. They bailed out on all that is good AND they moved Eureka to Fridays. Not that I'm surprised. Anything they do right at this point is a happy accident and probably evidence that God does exist and works miracles.

PS: Yes, you may feel free to also call it Siffy-Yiffy. In fact, let's try to make it a meme. It's slightly less stupid than the real name, anyway.
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Good news: I had a lovely birthday. A beautiful quiet day with friends and a general feeling of wellness and contentment. Also a fantastic steak dinner.

Bad news (but not as bad as last week): A few of you know already, from IM or Facebook, that my mother just spent two weeks in the hospital. She's doing better now, staying with my sister and me for the week and getting back on her feet and adjusted to life with a dangerous medical condition.

Like my sister, it turns out she has a deformed aortic valve (a bicuspid valve, meaning it's missing one of the leaves that're supposed to seal it closed--now we know where Sis got it from). This is some crazy stuff, people. Apparently these little bastards have a habit of hiding out for most of a person's life, revealing themselves only when a cardiologist wields an EKG at it or your freaking aorta pops. Mom developed a lengthwise tear from just past the point where her carotid artery (the one in the neck) starts all the way down to the point where it branches off toward the kidneys. Clearly the tear didn't go all the way through the arterial wall or she would be dead right now, and it's healing nicely, but it has led to all sorts of exciting medical complications. She's got a pile of meds to regulate her blood pressure (takes stress off the injury to let it heal), but they can't do all they'd like because the tear has affected blood flow to her kidneys, so they really don't need the extra work of purging exciting new drugs from her system.

But she's being monitored closely, and she's recovering, and now that we know, it can be taken care of and hopefully this won't happen again. We've known my sister has this deformity since she was six (hers is Extra Speshul and made itself known early), and I thought I appreciated the danger of the thing, but apparently I've been missing out on some thrilling potential ramifications. Now I understand why they don't want Sis to exert herself too much.

I'll have to go get myself checked out with an EKG, since apparently it's hereditary in our family. It's not easily spotted unless somebody's looking for it with an EKG or MRI, and often its only outward symptom is that a person is easily tired or winded when exerting themselves. Sometimes a heart murmur or an occasional ability to feel your heart beating when there's no particular reason for it. Vague enough for you? Blarg.
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Between trying to save a bit of extra money for some shinies I want, and the realization that I've gotten tubby over the winter, two weeks ago I changed my diet, paring things down to the minimum that I know I'll still enjoy. It's cheap to eat cereal for breakfast, make my own sandwiches for lunch, and take fresh fruit, nuts, or vegetable sticks to work for snacks. I'm not cutting off my tea consumption or changing what I eat for dinner (we like to cook inventively at my house), and with the variety of cereals and sandwich options, it's a simple menu that won't quickly get boring.

Interestingly, my calorie count hasn't changed. I tend to hover around 1700 per day, regardless of what I'm eating. I've thrown in a bit of light exercise, but that's pretty much the equivalent of walking once around the block. And yet, in the past two weeks I have noticed a perceptible amount of weight loss (not that it takes much; at 5 feet tall, 5 lb. is enough to prompt a wardrobe change), my body feels lighter and more efficient, and my skin suddenly looks great. I've always had a pretty well-behaved complexion, but up till I looked at myself in the mirror this morning, I always thought the stuff in the ads about "luminous skin" just a salesman's melodramatics.

Now here's the thing: it's not as though I was over-indulging in junk food before. I had pop tarts or hot pockets for breakfast and maybe canned soup or granola bars for lunch. So if the composition of my diet is the only thing I've significantly changed to achieve these sudden dramatic (for me) results, then I am forced to ask myself, just what is really in that processed crap? I knew it wasn't the best choice out there, but there's a whole world of difference between "could be better" and "will secretly give you a heart attack before you're 60."

I'm not about to suddenly swear off meat and run away into Tofu-land, but I'm going to be eying food that comes in a box a lot more suspiciously from now on, I can tell you.
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I don’t care who you are and I don’t care when you read this; if you read it five minutes after I post this or five years.

Put everything else on hold and post in the comments something you love about yourself.

I'll start: I love my sense of humor and that I can see the funny side of almost everything. I love that I can make my friends laugh. I love my intelligence. I love not compromising on being myself, even when I'm weird and it costs me. I love not having it in me to truly hate, and that it's so easy for me to love. I love the feel of my muscles working when I move.

How about you?
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Two weeks into it, the stiffness has faded and I can do ten pushups in a row (on my knuckles no less!). I've added to the program by interspersing the pushups with situps (10 during each rest period) along with a couple of other light exercises afterward and then thorough stretching to help build muscle tone. Together, it all gives me about a 30 minutes workout three times a week.

Being in better shape always feels good. Also, back in college I found that working out--even only 15 minutes or so a couple of times a week--noticeably improves my mental state and my ability to cope with stress. Exercise makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something worthwhile, for one thing, and physical exertion during the day usually helps me sleep better. But part of it, I think, is the focus it teaches.

I don't know if most people do it this way, but in karate, I was taught that when I'm exercising, I'm paying attention to me. Both for safety's sake and to get the most out of the workout, I'm constantly assessing my status and technique, focusing on my physical stability, and exerting my will over ignorable sensations and that little voice in the back of the head that complains about the effort of it all. The truth is, when you focus on any task that way, it's a form of mental discipline, a sort of "meditation on the move" that helps you gain control over your inner self as much as over your exterior. And that bleeds over to other parts of your life, as you learn to focus on the here and now and put any other thoughts or worries in their proper place.

But while an improvement in my mental state (which has been somewhat depressed of late) is very nice, the best thing I'm noticing is that my posture is improving. Part of a well-formed pushup is keeping your back rigid--your hips and stomach should not sag toward the floor--which has the benefit of strengthening your back. In fact, after the first couple of days, it was my back that was aching more than my arms, and now I can feel that I'm standing straighter. I'd developed a sloppy spine curvature that was beginning to give me problems, but now it's gone and I'm noticing a lack of small aches and pains that I hadn't even realized I'd developed. It feels great, and I can tell it's still progressing.

So all things considered, I'm very pleased and feeling encouraged.
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No, no, I can't do one hundred pushups. Yet. [ profile] versaphile posted the one hundred pushups training program on her blog a couple of weeks ago, and I've always wanted to be better at pushups, so I decided to give it a try. It seemed ideal because the program makes allowances for being a wussy little girl like me who can barely do any to begin with.

Two weeks ago, I accomplished two pushups in my initial test. Now I'm already up to six without stopping. Which still sounds pathetic, but all things considered, this seems like somewhat impressive growth in the span of a week--especially considering the small amount of time it requires. So I figured I'd share it with you lot in case anybody else wanted to join me in the insanity.

Yes, I know some of you are raging beasts capable of doing 2000 reps in a minute, but some of us are pathetic physical specimens who would just like to be capable of pulling ourselves up if we ever almost fall off a cliff (actually, thinking back, that experience might've had to do with my interest in this). If any of you are inclined to try it, let me know! Perhaps we could forge a pact to apply mockery and peer pressure to keep from dropping out like sissies. :D
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They're landscaping the area outside the building to put in new bus stops and make it wheelchair-accessible. Right now, I have a jackhammer going full-tilt about 10 feet away from me on the other side of the wall. Everything's vibrating. And now the boss is wondering if we can move staff till they finish...which means possibly stuffing five extra people upstairs in a room that doesn't have any space for us.

In other news, I'm a big ball of ache. My legs hurt (from the hiking), my left shoulder hurts like a bastard and has limited movement (from the tetanus shot), my head hurts (from the jackhammer), and my back hurts for no good reason I can ascertain.

My computer is getting worse again. It crashes on me roughly every ten minutes or so. I have new memory (my dad had some extra), which makes the thing run great when, y'know, it's actually running. The memory had previously been a suspect, but looks like that's out. I'm now thinking either the motherboard or the CPU. Which are Socket A and to hell with that. Screw this. I can do a rebuild for less than $300, and it's not like I wouldn't enjoy it enough to be worthwhile.

In the face of all this sour-faced kvetchery, what can I say except AH hahahahahahahahaha, DOCTOR WHO! If I could cut loose with a war whoop of triumph over the internet, I totally would.

If you're a Who-fan and you don't know why I say that, I'd keep an eye out for spoilers in any comments to this post.
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Who got tablet? Hell yeah, I got tablet!

We've been fighting with these damn things since January 9, and they finally figured out that it was the proxy host that was evilling up the joint.  And now? It rocks. It rocks like a vigorously rocking thing.

Though they'll probably never read this, I'd like to take a moment to offer props to Wacom's tech support guys, who spent two months kicking ass at their jobs.  They actually called me back (twice!) without my prompting while pursuing possible solutions for this bit of computronic bastardy. While it turned out to be our own tech support who solved the issue (they finally resorted to the last-ditch effort of deleting things one by one till they found something that worked--for which they too deserve props, because I know firsthand how obnoxious that is), the Wacom guys stuck with it through the whole thing.

In other news: my internal organs are lucky that humans are not readily reassembled, because if I thought I could put it back afterward, I would've pulled my stomach out and jumped up and down on it this weekend. DAMN you, nauseated cramping digestive tract, DAMN YOU! *shakes fist at the sky* I'm still having to be delicate about the foods I eat, and how much I eat of them.

In other other news: you know, over the past couple of weeks, I've thought of about fifteen different things to post, and haven't gotten around to any of them...then I promptly forgot. If they come back to me, I'll let you know.

Oh! We started a new (old) WoD game. Some of you enjoy that. Should I babble about it on here at all? It's a little...cracky, and crossovery. We've got a pack of werewolves (they're the centerpiece), one mage, and it looks like two changelings (someone just got attacked by a carnie Pooka stunt driver, which I'm told refuses to subside till it gets a character sheet). Gameplay may best be described as "epic mayhem" with a side order of "I don't care what the rules say, just play your character and it'll all work out. Bwah hahah."

Edit: Finished this!
Kung fu eshu, now with 100% more dgg! )
The story: I was chatting with [ profile] generalbullet, who was entertaining her niece by coloring printouts of my lineart. Cute Niece said she wanted a kung fu eshu of her own (with long hair), so I agreed to oblige. After a bit of thought, I remembered an awesome photo [ profile] dgg posted on Shadownessence for a costume contest we held last Halloween that I thought would be perfect (actually, it's the one in his icon) and he said I could use it. So, voila!
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A great deal of eventfulness this weekend, which added up to little--my car is back in the shop, and my sister has the flu. On the other hand, there was a lovely turkey dinner and the exchange of presents among friends.

I'm still taking notes on that story idea, but when it's begun coalescing into anything involving actual sentences, I'll get that filter set up for those of you who want to be on it.

But most importantly, I've been working on this sucker for six months, on and off, and it's done! I've finished it! It is...a picture with an actual background! Iron Kingdoms: the Rigs
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They can't find anything wrong with my car. You'd expect this to be good news, except that it means there's something wrong with my car and no one knows what, which means it might well do whatever-it-is again...possibly on, say, a long trip home for Christmas. Blarg.

I forgot to submit my time card last week, and didn't notice till last night, which means I'm missing a pay period. I'll be January. *sigh* My own stupid fault. It's all right, this is why we have savings accounts. But it's annoying, and stupid, and I have embarrassed myself in front of the entire Human Resources department. Not my benchmark week.

Well, well. Not all is despair and bleakness. Office party yesterday; it was great fun and the pizza was top-notch. Also, I have an honest-to-god idea for a story. A novel! It's got a plot and everything! (Plots are my weak point, I've found.) I've learned not to promise such things, but if I can get it together enough to produce coherent samples, I could share some with you lovely folks. It wouldn't be a bad idea to get feedback on it anyway, just in case it starts shaping up to be embarrassingly cliched. They do have a way of sneaking up on you unnoticed, do cliches, and having extra eyes to spot them is no bad thing.

In the meantime, for those of you who enjoy such things, I'm putting together another gaming blog, for my sister's Iron Kingdoms game. Shhhh, it's a secret. I'll share the link when there's more to look at than a background. Iron Kingdoms is an amazing setting (it's d20, but one of those customized d20 games where it's been jiggered to fit specifically with the needs of the--extremely coherent, atmospheric, and balanced--setting), and my sister is a thoroughly spectacular GM. I hope great and probably overweening things for this blog, involving edgy piratical writing styles you should probably hope I don't get around to trying. Sometimes, fading attention spans are a good thing.

The Star Wars gaming blog, again for those of you who enjoy such things, is now prominently displayed in my Links list. *points upward* ( It's up-to-date. I caught up on a couple of entries I'd fallen behind on, and the new sessions are posted.

My Twerp* has a revolting flu that deserves to be kicked in the face like a space-hobo, from which my other roommates are only now on the mend. Poor things, all of 'em. Not a one of them has a lick of sense when it comes to taking a day off work, but I love the poor sods nonetheless. Foolish creatures that they are.

* That's my sister, remember?


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